And, whether my “for a while” with them is one year or many more, I can’t think of a single greater thing I want for any of them. 

Nearly 3 months ago we celebrated Pi Day: our 10^th time to set a day aside for spending time together, measuring some circles, eating some pie. 9 years ago, March 14th was the very last time I spent the day at home with only 3 kids.

By that night, our entire world flipped and it would never again look exactly the same.  Now, we celebrate Pi day each year; time set aside to remember how God sustained us.  We remember that He alone is consistent.  We remember how important it is to treasure the days we have together because we can never take an ounce of this life for granted.  We remember that He always works for our good and His glory so that others may know Him.

For Pi Day 2020 we did more of the usual than last year, which was a good measuring stick.  We were a bit more settled in our TZ life.  We measured pancakes with chocolate chips, baked pies, played games, were together.

I’m so incredibly thankful, now, for those simple memories and pictures because this year Pi Day once again became a marker for us.  It was the last day before our world began a slow turn which eventually flipped us upside down and spat us out on the literal other side.

Short story: We left TZ, a country which had been our home for 19 months, at the end of March.  It was a terribly difficult decision.  One that I’ve had to journal over and over to keep from emotionally muddying the reasons we felt God had said “go.” It was backwards and upside down from anything we expected to do even when we came to know of Covid-19, and life changed in literally a matter of hours.

Now that we’ve travelled back to our home country, we’ve been asked a lot, “How are you doing?” Which is just an impossible question to answer.  It is like asking someone mid-jolt at the end of the roller coaster “how did you find that ride?”.  You know that jolt?  The one where you hit the final bump to slow the beast.  The one where you are startled a little, but then quickly start breathing again for the first time since the ride began?  Only somehow we got stuck for a while in the jolt- with no slow coast toward the unloading dock.   For a while it was as if our bodies hung, with only our subconscious wandering.  And sometimes still we blink slowly in an eery pause, oscillating between glancing forward and back.

Over the last two months we have begun to slowly re-intersect with life. Encouraging scriptures and words written from those we love were like slow shakes on our shoulders to help us awake, and assess, and resurface.  We’ve continued working hard with our school in TZ: RRL as interim-director, our 7 kids finishing their classes remotely, and me as ring-master of the home circus.  There has been a lot of good in this new (albeit temporary) life, even if it is a world we could never have predicted.

As we’ve found new routine, developed new expectations and worked to navigate a world that at once seems familiar and foreign, I’ve thought a lot about these verses from Isaiah 43:18-19:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

Toss out your expectations, your security, your identity.  Do not clench your fists around the confidence you had in your strength or routines or even relationships.

SEE, I am doing a new thing!

Blink, look around, even when stuck in the jolt of the ride- SEE.  God is here. He is doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? 

You might have missed it.  It might have seemed inconsequential at first, in its beginnings, because it was coming from deep in the ground. And you didn’t notice it before, because before you didn’t even know you needed it.  Maybe because like Manna, you didn’t even know what to call this provision.

I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

Why would God go to such care to make a path in the desert, in the most unlikely place.  In a place that no one wants to go ANYWAY.  And why would He dare carve the wasteland with a life-giving stream?  Why waste the water?  The good, clean, life-sustaining water?

UNLESS.  Unless the places the enemy declared a desert, God claimed for growth.  Unless the place the enemy declared a wasteland was the very place from which God decided to raise up beauty.  Unless the very places the enemy would tell us to flee are the exact places where God is saying, “HERE!!!  SEE IT HERE!  I am doing a NEW thing!”

UNLESS in the desert and the wasteland there was life worth LIVING.  And against the backdrop of wilderness, the life given would all the more loudly declare His glory!

The days after our very first Pi Day were so hard, such a blur.  It was weeks before we started to feel like we were resurfacing and even then we resurfaced to a new reality, one we weren’t sure we wanted to embrace.  But God was faithful there, in the most unexpected of places, to bring LIFE.  He indeed made a path and carved the land with streams of sustaining water.  Now those days are part of our Ebenezer story– where we can look back and say “ah, but God sustained us then.  He was faithful.  And He is the SAME now.  His very character is consistent and His loving care for us is unwavering.”

These days we are praying fervently about what the next piece of our life will look like.  We believe we will go back to TZ for the 20-21 school year, but not completely clear what that will look like. And as we find ourselves in another land of unknowns, what a gift the previous chapters of our story are.  We have different eyes to see and watch for His provision.  We know with confidence that even when He asks us trust Him in places we didn’t ask to go, when we have low visibility for what lies around the bend, He is there.  Providing what we didn’t even know to ask for.

There is a Swahili word we love: “shagalabagala,” meaning chaos or chaotic, kind of like haywire.  A very good word for 2020.  The loss of lives, the economic destruction, the unknown, the turning-upside down of plans and expectations.  Maybe especially the confrontation with the reality of systemic injustices which should be antiquated but still inflict significant harm.  SHAGALABAGALA.  In this wasteland there is anger, hurt, rebellion, injustice, death, destruction, division…and maybe that is the very place where restoring order and providing a path forward, will make His name known.  It is our opportunity, as a Church, to ask the question again “what life is here for us?  Why would he provide for us unless there is life worth living.”  We can choose to argue “who done it” or to be involved in the new life which has suddenly been provided space to cultivate.  A righteous SPRING is BLOOMING because there is nothing left to do from here but GROW anew.

“From scratch” might be terrifying.  EXCEPT. There is one who is an expert at redemption, a pro at bringing order from shagalabagala.  He is walking right beside saying “Dear one, it is springing up.  I KNOW you can’t perceive it yet.  I KNOW you don’t understand. I know you feel like you are stuck at the end of a ride you did not ask to take away from the former things.  But soon, you’ll be past this jolt. You’ll be unpaused.  You’ll be able to look and see with certainty this new thing I am doing is for your good.  And my glory.  So that they may know.”

“There WILL be life here.  Life worth living to the fullest.”

ABL

We talk a lot about TEAM at our house.  It is a model for family that one of my college professors shared from his own families’ approach to working together.  It became essential language during our “for a while” phase- when we needed another word for “family”.  It is philosophy we’ve clung to even now as we talk about taking care of each other, having privileges and responsibilities and going on mission for God.

But what if our team-work extended beyond the people living in our home or even in our generation?

Jefferson Bethke on the “Made for This” podcast with Jennie Allen said

“God’s plan A for bringing blessing into the world was a multi-generational family team on mission…Whether you are a kid or adult, married or single you are part of a story and you are part of legacy and part of a last name that goes back hundreds and hundreds of years.”

His ideas about connectedness, based on biblical truth, are definitely worth listening to, but the part that really stood out to me was that one phrase…

GENERATIONAL TEAM

I am not who I am purely because of my own experiences, my kids are not who they are purely because of the experiences in our immediate family life, AND those who come generations after us will not be who they are purely because of the way the world looks or their home looks in that age.

There are family stories told so often they are nearly woven into the fabric of our identity.  Stories of those we barely knew because their earthly journey hardly intersected our own.  Some of the stories have heroic and life altering endings, many do not- they are just told because of the way ordinary life intersected with funny anctedotes or unexpected turns.  Some of the stories have intimate details passed down carefully, some only vague memories of supposition.  And even where some stories are never told we can see evidence in the people living around us now.  The stories represent parents and grandparents, generations long before, in-laws and step-laws and by-adoption-laws.

The word “legacy” is often used to represent these stories with an idea of history.  But the idea of generational teamwork has an additional layer- an idea of working together. Right now.  The very movements I am making impacted by teammates before and impacting teammates to come.  It is an acknoweldgement that many of the opportunities I have to make a play on the field today (the mission field, career field, home-front-field) were alley-ooped by people I never met.

This eye-opening understanding solidified my belief that one of the critical blessings God is giving us in Tanzania is shared memories.  All 9 of us spent three weeks studying Swahili in Iringa, where we met a missionary man traveling around giving audio Bibles out of his truck.  Once, on that same trip, one of our kids dared us all to dunk in the frigid river…and we all participated in a family “polar bear challenge”.  This year we visited an elephant orphanage in Nairobi and ran on the beach in Zanzibar.  All 9 of us have shouted hallelujah together when the electricity comes back on, have read books together when we were stuck in traffic and have eaten icecream together, purchased from the side of the road.  Because there were so many memories on the other side of the ocean that evoked the question “was I there for that?” the certainty of “I remember, too” is invaluable.  These are the stories I know my children will tell their own.

But one of my favorite experience from the year also created awareness for our all 7 of our children that they are ALL (whether born or adopted Lewis) part of the same generational team.  This summer we traveled with RRL’s mom to Malawi to see a piece of our generational team story first-hand.

The story of a man who crossed the ocean to buy land, begin a school, and train pastors just because someone sent a letter and asked.  A man who went to a place he’d never seen, then later moved his wife and small children against the council of those who didn’t understand the mission.  He simply said “yes, I’ll go” and I believe he said “yes” because he’d been taught to by the generations before him.

This story now includes 3^rd and 4^th generations of our family living in the same area, extending the work started 60 years ago which now includes the same Bible training school, but also a maternity clinic and primary school as well as coffee growing and processing.  As we walked the property seeing new construction and coffee fields, hearing about the vision for the future, we talked about what it might have been like in the beginning.  So much has changed since the days when the land for the Namikango Mission was first purchased, but one thing has remained extraordinarily consistent: the mission to bring the gospel of Christ to those who have not yet heard.  It was amazing to see, and also incredible to be able to tell our children what a difference those decisions, of someone they never met, have impacted our lives forever.

This Thanksgiving, I could not be more thankful to know God, who is faithful TO ALL GENERATIONS (Psalm 100:5). Consistently.  May there be a spirit of unity amongst us as we recognize the bond we have, the team we are apart of and the mission we have the privilege to join.

As we gather around the holiday tables, may we listen and embrace the stories of older team-members and then take time to tell the stories to our children.  We have the immense privalege and extraordinary responsibility to help the next generation declare their stories, to choose what they will remember and learn from these days, to decide how they want to write their chapter and to confidently make their next kingdom move.  It is so important because we are on their team.  It’s a wide open field, let’s pass them the ball well.

ABL

Two years ago today, we quit living “for a while“. 

On January 13th, 2017, we began our forever. And there was a perfect peace.

My mom asked me recently how I thought the kids felt about celebrating “adoption day.” I said, “There will be sugar. They are in.” But honestly, I still wondered. How do they feel. Do they “get it”? Do they feel loved. Do they know how hard we fought for it to be different, first.

I was so thankful, as we walked through today, talking about how we got here, to have evidence that they showed up for the party for more reasons than soda and ice-cream. Last year felt a little forced, this year conversation flowed easily through what it means to be family, how thankful we are for ours and also the family that was left behind. We watched the video of the adoption for the first time. We talked about what they felt. We bowled, laughted, ate all the junk, watched a movie. were together.  We celebrated.  A bit more than last year, it felt good and right.

Nearly as soon as he woke up, one kiddo said “Today really isn’t about just 3 of us getting ‘dopted.  It’s really about our whole family. “

And from across the room another (bonus kid) chimes in “also it’s really about God and how He helped us have a way.”

Uh. Yes. That.

We call this day our “Ebenezer” because today we remember how God carried us to that day. Through that day. And from that day. Even looking back over the last year we can see over and over again how He has carried us. We can see redemption unfolding.

The last two years have been hard. But not impossible. They’ve been full of adventure and joy and laughter. And also arguing and frustration and tears and misunderstanding. But always hope.

We continue to pray that we will steward our story well. We want to share so that more can see light prevailing out of a darkness that should have won. Where there was destruction, there is now rebuilding. Even in our mess, we want you to see a glimpse of what it means to be redeemed.

Words of this song, “My Story*”  so well say what we hope you know:

If I told you my story
You would hear hope that wouldn’t let go
If I told you my story
You would hear love that never gave up

If I told you my story
You would hear life but it wasn’t mine

If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

To tell you my story is to tell of Him

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me

And if I told you my story
You would hear life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story this is my song

Praising my Savior all the day long

Thank you for singing with us for so many years!

Thank you for hoping with us all along the way!

We stand amazed,

ABL

for the FOREVER Team Lewis 9

These are some of my favorite family moments from 2018.  From the prayers the night we decided to “go” to traditions like cow appreciation day and valentines day, to family adventures- in each of these pictures I see a moment in which we were becoming more and more what God asked us to be.

*Publishing: © 2015 Word Music, LLC, Weave Country (ASCAP) / Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Open Hands Music (SESAC) Writers: Mike Weaver / Jason Ingram

At least I found the “amazing” Trinity River overlook just in time to watch a train pass.  So, there’s that. Yeah, beautiful, huh?  But quiet at least.

Doesn’t quite make up for the fact that I ran most of the way through the Jurassic Park-like area because I was so uncomfortable.  I even texted RRL at one point just to make sure he knew where I was…just in case.

11:15am  I’m already back at my car and disappointed.  The Buckeye Trail, number 3 on the list, was the most disappointing stop because I could tell it was once great, but not maintained.  And I didn’t feel like I could even really make it to the areas the article talked about.

It started with a red box.

A shiny red gift box that was left on our porch this summer.  There was no way the giver could have know the crushing reality of that day.  It had been the day that our deepest fears about the circumstances were confirmed.  It was the day we knew we really needed to make the turn we’d already begun.  And then the box.

You need to know.  We didn’t want it to be this way.  It isn’t what we prayed for.  The miracle wasn’t supposed to look like this.  For 5 years we marched faithfully toward what we believed would be the Lord bringing the impossible to reality.  We prayed and prayed for redemption of a family.  We believed we would see kids return to their parents.

Then the whispers. “Turn.  Come this way.”

BUT LORD.  That’s not the way.  I know you can split this sea.  I know you can move this mountain.  I know you can restore this family.  I know you can conquer and heal and overcome.  WE NEED TO GO STRAIGHT THROUGH.

“Not this time.  This time we are going to turn.”

BUT LORD.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  Why won’t you do this?  We can’t give up now.  So       much effort.  So much time.  So much heart.  All laying here.  Right here.  THIS WAY.  PLEASE LET IT BE THIS WAY.”

“Turning is not quitting.  I’ll go every step with you.  Redemption is this way.”

And so, in February, with a deep collective sigh, we started a slow wide right turn.  We packed up nine fragile hearts and started traveling toward a new definition of redemption.  The hardest part was the unknown.  Were we really turning the way we should?  What would it look like?  There was such low visibility about what was ahead that we felt we were walking blindly.  With 7 kiddos in tow.

And then, a few months later, the red box.

The note inside said we should use the money (the LOTS of money) however we wanted- for needs or frivolous fun.  So for a minute we dreamed a bit about Disney World or other crazy spontaneity.  But really we knew.  We knew exactly what the money was for and we knew why it had come that day. So we stored it away.  It wasn’t quite time, but it propelled us to keep turning.  It affirmed that although we couldn’t see ahead, we were turning the right way.

No one knew, but months and months ago, at the beginning of our turn, Ricky actually said, “A van.  When transportation shows up so that we can all ride together.  That’s how we’ll know that this is what we are supposed to do.”  Because for months we’d been doing the temporary- driving two cars while we cared for 7 kids “for a while”.  But a bigger van- a van with seats for everyone- in that van we’d know that we were forever 9.

Because the Lord is gracious with our tender hearts, He didn’t just drop a van in our driveway the next day.  Instead there were gifts, building the van fund a little at a time.  I think he knew that a turn like this would take some time.  We needed the van to get put together in pieces, like a crumb trail guiding us along the turn. With each piece of the gift, a piece of our hearts turned, too.  As money was provided, provision was proclaimed.  The partnership was affirming that we may be turning into unknown but we aren’t turning alone.  All of it was affirming that even though we SUCK at this sometimes, screwing up royally many days….redemption does indeed lie ahead.

Isn’t it just pretty fitting that the physical picture of our WIDE RIGHT is a giant vehicle that does just that….makes wide turns.  In the last week, right up until the day we picked up our new ride, another group of more than 20 families got together to finish up the van fund.  It was a group of some of our nearest and dearest and please don’t ask me to talk about it in person because UGLY CRY.  The luxury and lavishness of such a gift is not lost on us.  We know this isn’t something we HAD to have and we are incredibly humbled.  But we are also so very grateful, astounded and most of all AFFIRMED.

Thank you for your generosity.  Thank you for being a huge part of our story.  Thank you for making this turn a little bit easier (and a whole lot fancier).  Thanks to you, the nine of us are riding together!  And there is joy…

https://youtu.be/PxRDLLSvxHc

ABL

For more than two weeks in a row this summer, I was home alone.  With many many small children.  I was also at the tail end of a super busy work season.  When I finally came up for air from work and RRL was STILL out of town, I did the logical thing.

Watched every single episode of the first season of Gilmore girls.

In about 5 days.

And while I watched, I noticed myself taking on pieces of Loralei Gilmore persona: the laid-back, fun, energetic, witty and spontaneous pieces. Maybe because of the binge watching or maybe because I usually watched at a ridiculously late hour while falling asleep. Quite possibly both.  Whatever the reason, I grinned big when I swung by and picked up pizza after work instead of cooking.  Something I would have done anyway, but now seemed all spontaneous and free-spirited.

Then came the night I put my newly adopted traits to the test.  3rd of July. 6 kids in tow.

What would a fun, spontaneous, free-spirited, (temporarily) single mom/aunt do?  She’d totally pack a picnic of breakfast food (breaking all the picnic rules), throw bedtime caution to the wind and go watch a movie and fireworks under the stars.

Turns out, kids had a blast.  And I was miserable. 

It was H-A-R-D to be spontaneous and fun.  There was zero care-freeness.  And suddenly, I had a sharp TV realization.  There is a reason Loralei Gilmore was never portrayed on screen with her 3 year old.  And why she only had one kid.  Who was born to her.  Because the best of actresses in the world couldn’t have masked the truths which are necessary in such situations.  You know: the sweat, the gritted teeth and the under-your-breath “I will pack everything up and leave” (which you don’t mean because the only thing worse than surviving there is is the idea of getting everyone outta there)…all while taking happy smiling pictures.

Lets just say that if two sweet baby-sitter-friends hadn’t just happened along in the knick of time,  I honestly think I might have lost it. I cannot even begin to portray the desperation I exuded when they coincidentally walked in.  I readily admitted complete defeat and accepted a few minutes of their company and

H-E-L-P.

Looking back, it totally makes sense that I was defeated.  I was aiming for fun with sugar, a late night movie and dinner on the lawn as a single parent of 6; while I’m a strict bedtime and rules kind of parent who finds her team-mate invaluable.

It is hard to be something you aren’t.  Like your momma always tells you: “Just be yourself.”

REAL LIFE: But what about when what you’ve always been isn’t what you need to be?

This, I think, is at the root of why parenting “bonus kids” is ROUGH.  Whether step kids, foster kids or adopted kids, when you have “bonus kids” you need to become something you are not.  You were not first their mom/dad, but you need to act it.

With my three bonus kiddos, I’m not even hoping to be their mom someday (because I hope they’ll be permanently reunited with their bio-Mom).  But for right now, for who knows how much longer, I’m their primary maternal influence. I need them to believe that I will love them and provide for them unconditionally and for as long as they need.  I need them to find invisible the sometimes glaringly obvious line between them and my bio four.  I need them to believe without doubt that when I say they are some of my absolute favorites, it is true.  It isn’t what was, but for now it needs to be what becomes.

What’s more, they are also trying to be something they are not.  Most days they are just trying to ACT like they belong here.  Like maybe if they try hard enough they will finally mold into someone that fits.  I’m just beginning to be aware that they are grieving this hard reality, too.  Maybe not in a way they could articulate, but I believe its a deep soul “this isn’t the way it was ever supposed to be” kind of grief.  There is a part of them that clings to this temporary reality with fierceness.  A part of them that rests at night knowing tomorrow will have more of the same new normal in store for them.  It isn’t what was, but it is what has become.

The qualities and truths that are bringing us together right now are not qualities and truths which we are, they are qualities and truths we are becoming. Little, hard, but important bits at a time.

Maybe you, too, have felt you were pretending to be something you aren’t.  You first have a child come to you because of your heart to help, to meet their needs. And you fiercely desire to develop a heart that connects to who they are, not what they need.  So, you fake it for a while, maybe a long while.  Only to realize one day you aren’t faking.  You’ve grown into it.  You’ve become it.

Even once it has become, it might not be glaringly obvious.  That’s where I am.  I am learning to hunt for the miracles that represent this becoming.  Maybe its just that he came running out of school to tell you about his day, that she was able to tell you what she was afraid of instead of saying “I don’t know”, that he actually relaxed and snuggled deep into your lap when you picked him up.  Maybe its that he laughs at a joke and recognizes that you are kidding, maybe its that she can voice her opinion.

For me, recently, it was when I peeked into a desk and picked up a little pink eraser that looked exactly like it should.  I had a sudden flash of sharp contrast to the one I saw in the same spot last year, at the beginning of school.  This time no signs of anxiety reminded me of what we’ve become.

If you’ve experienced the miracle of that transformation you know, you can’t will yourself there out of sheer determination.  While you were becoming something new it can be painful and so rocky your hiking boots lose tread long before you arrive.  In the midst of becoming it may seem that only through brutal refinement do you change and grow.

Friends who are becoming: Will you please hunt with me?  Let’s hunt for the miracles that remind us that we are becoming.  They might not be what we’d expect, but we’ll find them.

Because it is hard to become something you are not.
But not impossible.

ABL

Mother’s Day was all kinds of things for me. I actually got a bit of a reprieve because I’m married to the best human alive. He sent me to spend Mother’s Day with my original fam on the beach. (Don’t hate).

But I actually spent a little time that day thinking about you moms out there that have a super rough gig. I’m increasingly aware that there are a whole lot of moms doing really hard things to restore and redeem broken lives. Mom trying to build something to replace what was lost, creating a second best home for kids. But sometimes second best is still just that. Second.

Because here’s what I know: no matter how great RRL And I ever get at this parenting “bonus kids” gig- it will always be second best. Our home, no matter how perfect it may ever become, will never be Gods very first design for those kids. Family, at the beginning, had a perfect design. And it did not include Aunts and Uncles subbing in for Moms and Dads. It did not include weekend visits and shared custody. It did not include separation and divorce. It most certainly did not include “where do I belong?”

I’m so thankful that he is giving us the opportunity to be part of his grand redemption plan. But I learned from studying Nehemiah, and I’m seeing in my own story, restoration takes work. Hard work. Hard work for which there is no bypass. And believe me, if you could build a strategy or system for making the process more efficient, I would have done it by now.

But there isn’t a strategy or system to answer questions like “Why doesn’t my Daddy visit?” There isn’t an efficiency strategy to speed up rebuilding broken trust or securing feelings of “I.belong.here”.

And that’s true, no matter your situation. There will always be struggles in parenting (like your baby not sleeping at night) for which you can find volumes and volumes of advice/band aids. Some will work, some will make you feel like you’ve failed. None will magically turn hard into easy.

So, instead of trying to fix it, here’s my new favorite question to ask Moms:

“How do you make yourself stronger?”

You gotta keep doing this, they need to see you not give up, so what do you do to fortify yourself for the long haul?

Here’s how I’d answer that question. Some of these I’m better at than others, many have been seasonal- helping me at times better than others. All are like wearing a tool belt- available and ready for “OH MY WORD IM SO OVER THIS” kinds of days.

1) Keep my own hard stuff

One of the ways I reenergize myself is to make time to encourage someone else. Which sounds very noble of me, except that it does actually have a bit of selfish motive. Because for one, um, community. And for two because my reaction 99.97% of the time when I’ve taken time away from my own stuff to listen to someone else’s = “Thanks, God, I think I’ll keep my own hard”. Because HOLY COW some of the lives you people are living are just so.very.hard and I am not sure I could trade.

2) Schedule time to run away

Every Thursday, with very limited exceptions, I go to “Running on Empty” to exercise. For me, exercise and community are key elements to my mental, physical and emotional health. I love that it’s scheduled, both so I know it’s coming and so I don’t forget to make time to do it. It’s budget friendly (free) and there’s childcare. Win.Win.Win. But in general RRL and I have found that we both need to step away occasionally so we can come back ready to do another day.

3) Root Beer dates

I have the very VERY best team-mate. Like for reals, RRL puts up with so much. We’ve been doing something together this year that might be my very favorite ever. Root Beer dates. We started on our anniversary by buying a dozen different root beers and ever since we”ve been buying root beers we haven’t tried before, pouring the bottle into two crystal glasses and sitting together for a while at some point during each weekend to drink, enjoy,and rank the favorites. We try really hard not talk about family business during this time. A time which doesn’t last long, but is a regular and inexpensive way to set time aside to bond with my favorite guy. I need time to be reminded how great our team is and rechoose to keep doing my part.

4) Mad free zone- Monday adventures

A month ago we kind of accidentally had the best Monday ever, thanks to our adventure. Now we guard Monday afternoon. We do little homework, chores, and even little discipline on Mondays. I don’t check folders on Monday. On Monday we adventure. This is an old survival tool for me, but one that I recently reinvented. It’s saving my Monday sanity because it’s helping me unplug for one afternoon a week from trying to fix things.

5) Listen to Light

If nothing else. This one. I’m hard headed. So I have to find ways to remind myself to keep choosing Light. There are lots of ways I could have gone about this, but this is my fave. Music. I made a whole play list of songs that talk about Light. And I play it. a lot. I’ll sing “Lord, let your light, light from your hands, fall on us”, while walking around my house opening every single curtain and all the blinds. Because sometimes I need tangible Light to remind me choose a penetrating Light.

6) Word power

I’m slowly learning to embrace the power of scripture. I’m telling y’all, I’m not an expert on this. And you don’t have to be either. The words placed there are true. And available for all. I’m different for the times I’ve picked one book of the Bible and just read it and then read it again. Take some notes, pray through the words and keep reading. Nehemiah is like my good buddy now. And the truths I’m learning through the gospel study I started 2 + years ago are reshaping my thoughts on Jesus and miracles in crazy good ways. Having truth available in my head and heart is a tool I’m still learning to embrace, but couldn’t live without.

That’s all I got. What’s your plan? I mean, other than stealing your kids candy and hiding in the closet to eat it (hypothetically speaking). Let’s stick together! With one reminder to each other : “Fortify yourself, Momma. We are in this for the long haul.”

ABL