Its about to get all “NPR-fundraising-day” around here.  This week I’m hoping to post a lot of fun pictures and stories, some serious thoughts and some old birthday letters long neglected.  But to get to those fun posts, I hope you’ll allow me a little room to remind you that we are in the thick of things with our fundraising related to the 6th annual Teen Lifeline 5K.  Be sure to check out the post I wrote about why I believe this race is so necessary.  The short version, though, is that our family is participating in the race and would love for your to partner with us and this awesome organization, bringing hope and help to teenagers in our area.  THANK YOU!  Here is a link to make a donation. 

NOW ON WITH THE PROGRAM 

I love time alone with RRL.  He’s just plain FUN, tolerates my hare-brained date ideas, and we always have 12934762 conversations waiting to be completed until we snatch a few uninterrupted minutes together.

But I also have some other guys (and gal) I love to date.  At RRL’s leading, we’ve been trying to intentionally plan some one-on-one time with each of our 4 during our season of bonus kiddos.  And I have LOVED this.

I love that we do things we wouldn’t normally do.  I love that we talk about things that we wouldn’t normally talk about.  I love seeing how what they want to do helps me better understand who they are.  Here’s a glimpse of my first round…

I told KJ that he could plan the date.  And he came up with a whole theme.  Watch out, Ladies, with a hear that loves to plan a theme date he’s gonna be a CATCH…pun definitely intended.  His theme was “FISH”.  So- we went to the park to look for fish in the creek, stopped by the pet store to see how much a fish and fish bowl would cost (he’s saving) and then went out for a Sushi snack.  I love that he loves sushi.  I kinda hate how big he looks while ordering and eating it.

Cbug’s “date” revolved around one word- CRACKERBARRELPLEASE.  He knows the way to his Momma’s heart.  That or the combination of pancakes and checkers was calling his name.  Whatever.  Funny thing about his date, though, was that he asked me what he needed to wear.  I told him he could choose, but that he should consider whether how much thought and attention he put into how he dressed would make me feel special.  So he came out wearing his orange jersey.  MY color of orange.  Not his (he prefers another UT).  We did have to work a little, though, on the heart of generosity.  Every time someone would comment on his awesome shirt, he would say “I like the longhorns.  I’m just wearing this cuz I’m on a date with my mom”.  I guess its the thought (cough cough) that counts ?!

Lou and I, shockingly, went to get our nails painted.  She is so IN for anything that involves pampering.  I had a giftcard and I can’t think of a better way to use it than watching her light up at the sight of SO.MANY.COLORS to choose from, a bubbly bath for her toes, and S-P-A-R-K-L-E-S all around.  We had a great time together.  When we finished, I was running in to our house to grab something and tripped a little.  She yelled from the car, “MOM, DID YOU MESS UP YOUR TOES?”  I find it incredibly ironic that I would have a daughter who would even THINK to ask that question.

Tito just loves to go.  Anywhere.  So he and I had an awesome time at Target.  He loved getting to ride in the cart, look at all of the toys and just people watch. (Of course we also spent a little quality time in a potty stall.  hooray for that.)  We stood FOREVER in the train and trucks section of the toys and just rolled them around the cart.  Then we bought a treat, sat on a bench outside the store and counted trucks that went by.  BOY.LOVES.TRUCKS!  I loved just listening to his little voice, uninterrupted, for awhile.

One bonus thought on this: I kinda love that my kids are at the age where going to the park to watch for fish, playing checkers at CrackerBarrel, getting their nails painted and strolling through Target are SUCH.A.BIG.DEAL.  Hope we can hang on to that for a while.  Such special memories.

ABL

But as I opened the frame on my desk, I noticed the yellowed edges of the picture it contained. The picture stuck a little to the glass it had been there so long. I had to scan it for this post because the idea of a digital copy barely even existed then. 

We didn’t know that for a while he’d do laundry, while I worked long hours.

We didn’t know we’d go on to have four beautiful children.
We didn’t know that sometimes we’d have seven.
We didn’t know that it would take us YEARS to build a community.
We didn’t know that once we did, it would be with friends we love so deeply.
We didn’t know about the homes we would create in our apartment or houses.
We didn’t know that we STILL wouldn’t be living in Nashville.
We didn’t know about a Grand Canyon Backpacking trip or a week-away in NYC together.
We didn’t know that our trip to England would still be a “someday”
We didn’t know what tired REALLY meant.

We didn’t know we couldn’t WILL marriage to be easier.

We didn’t know for better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health.

I’m keeping this one close.

I started the 5 things in DRRF for Cbug’s Birthday celebration with the party and the interview.  Here are numbers 3 and 4- the video and the birthday letter.

3) The video
Pictures from his first 5 years.  When we made the similar video for KJ’s 5th bday, I cried everytime I listened to the song, watched the video, sorted through the pictures.  I’m still nostalgic with Cbug, but it is impossible to look at a complilation of his expressions and do anything but LAUGH.  I mean how many people have a picture of themselves at 4 and 30 pounds, swaddled like baby Jesus? Or a dinosaur hanging out of their mouth at meet the teacher night?  Oh, how the Lord knew I would need Cbug to keep me from taking life too seriously.  This song, from “Slugs and Bugs and Lullabies” (one of our very favorite kid CDs), is SO fitting for him.
“I’m just a kid with a head full of dreams and a dream full of things to get done…”

4) The Letter

Dearest Cbug-

I cannot believe you are 5.  In some ways your Daddy and I started treating you like you were 5 long before you were quite ready to be.  You do so much to try to keep up with KJ that we sometimes try to make you older than you really are.  Often you rise to that challenge, but sometimes when you snuggle up in my lap or grin that dimpled grin, I try to remind myself to just let you be little for a while longer.

Maybe that’s a favorite memory because you rarely sit still.  You are pretty much all IN to whatever you are doing.  So you are only still if you are in a zone- building Legos, playing trains, or reading books.  But most of what you do with your older brother involves being very much NOT still- playing Nerf wars or playing rough  and wrestling.  The two of you have some kind of magnet that requires you to be pushing, shoving, or wrestling AT.ALL.TIMES.  This year we invented “hand tag” which is a game you can actually hit each other on the hands, but you have to sit still to play.  I love that you two have so much fun together and I’m constantly praying for ways to encourage you to grow-up with that same spirit of fun…without killing each other.

You like for things to be scheduled and you like to know what is happening next.  You need to know what the date is, the time is and you like for things to move quickly from one thing to the next (in the appropriate order).  If we don’t help guide you to the next thing, it is sometimes hard for you to make good choices about what to choose to do next.  Ms Tabitha has been a great teacher for you this year because she GETS that and has helped you a ton with how to fit your scheduled AND busy self into a classroom setting.  At home, we have to be ready for things like when you take your last bite of food, because you are ready to immediately move on to the next thing.  And we have to get creative about how we keep you occupied when we can’t just move to the next thing.  Sometimes its working on sounding out words, as you LOVE these beginning stages of reading.  And another recent favorite for you has been word math problems.  This is just how your little mind works.  Its crazy to us how quickly you can think through “A Christmas tree farmer has 6 trees and cuts down 2” and how much you love doing it.  We hope you always LOVE learning…and we hope learning is always something you will CHOOSE when you need to occupy your time!

This year we are especially grateful to be celebrating another birthday with you.  You started the year a pretty sick little boy.  We had a scary couple of days with you in the hospital in March.  You LOVED the playroom there, but your Daddy and I are very thankful that we haven’t had to repeat that trip.  You’ve been on different medications for the rest of the year and it has made a huge difference for your asthma.  We are so very thankful!

And that’s my prayer for you this year.  That you will continue to use your humor, your fierce love for those you encounter, your tender-heart, and the best dimpled grin I’ve ever seen to steal hearts for Jesus.  May you bring Him glory as you shine from deep down within yourself.  And may you grow up to know more about a Lord whose Love and Grace NEVER run out, just like your hugs.

We love you so much, Buddy!  And are always thankful for the way you help us just enjoy life.

Love,
Momma

And then one more 5th birthday post for you, buddy, coming soon- the Birthday DAY.

Moving + a 3-month-old + his three older siblings (none of whom we really old enough to help)=
JULY WAS CRAZY.
But here are a few pictures, just to remember that it happened.

We moved in.  Each with our different contributions.  RRL turnedd the key that would let us into our new home on July 4th.  He carried me across the threshold, symbolizing a new beginning of “front porch moments“.  And then he went straight to work- HARD WORK, unloading the truck, storage unit and other places we had scattered our belongings.

While I just made more messes.  Well, at least that is what it felt like for a while, as I sorted through boxes of belongings, trying to find their new homes.  And as I tagged all the crazy-colored walls of our home with swatches of new ideas and clean starts. 

During the month of April the shock of our little crew was wearing off and we began settling in to a routine as a party-of-eight.  We even took the whole gang camping one night and also enjoyed an afternoon at the museum with Uncle D, who we were so thankful to be welcoming home from deployment.  Our continued adjustment got a boost with a bit of break by splitting the team up to celebrate Easter.  And just our little team of 5 enjoyed some time at Nonna and Papa J’s house where I also got to be part of one of my best friend’s wedding day.

For the fourth of July, we got to visit Nonna and Papa J again, and were so excited that Uncle M and Aunt S were there, too!  The kids loved getting to see Cars 2 with some of their favorite people.  We celebrated one of our favorite holidays (Cow Appreciation Day), the five big kids took swimming lessons, and all of the kids got to go bowling for the first time. RRL and I enjoyed an awesome retreat with some new friends and some incredible mentors and I got to go to LA for a quick work trip.  We also had one of the hardest weeks of the summer when all 6 kids and I got strep…and RRL escaped with a yucky stomach bug instead.  I was busy on the blog in July, sharing about our quite imperfect family, the beginning of my journey through Nehemiah and adventures at the grocery store.

This month was filled with continuing traditions, like Pumpkin Patch pictures with some of our favorite photographers and having soup and grilled cheese on Halloween.  We also continued a tradition of NOT carving pumpkins when we made pumpkin people. My kids dressed up like characters from Lou’s favorite story, Sleeping Beauty, and we captured one of my favorite pictures EVER of them.  We enjoyed our 10th reunion at the Homecoming of our Alma Mater.  I celebrated my birthday by helping raise money for Teen Lifeline (thanks so much to many of you that participated  in that celebration) and also with a Barbie birthday party (my very first) at our house.

RRL started the month by taking the boys at midnight to buy Cars2 on DVD, a super fun memory for all three of them.  We received the proofs from our most recent family photo shoot by Three.  They were INCREDIBLE.  A highlight was our little family get-away (in town) to GWL.  We also counted our blessings on leaves and turkeys all month and we enjoyed family fun during Thanksgiving with RRL’s family at Grammy’s house.  But not until after RRL and I finished our half-marathon that morning, no small feat for me at 18 weeks pregnant but I really did love getting to run it with him!  We found out, at the end of the month, that we were having a BOY! at a super fun gender-reveal party with our family and friends.  I also described some of the emotions of expecting our fourth baby.

I did it.  By the middle of December I finished what I started in January.  I made it to the end of 13 chapters- 406verses- journaling my way through the book of Nehemiah.

The Bible that I keep by my bed quite naturally falls open to that book now.   And I nearly filled a daily planner with my notes- it took me 273 daily pages in my planner-turned-journal.  Which means, I should have finished a couple of months ago.  My journey was steady and consistent until the 13th chapter, or until about September.  And that chapter took me a couple of months to get through.    There are lots of reasons to which I could attribute that decline in consistency, but I think for tonight I will just to choose to focus on the fact that…I made it.  When it comes to Bible Study, I rarely remember finishing anything of this size that I started.  That’s sad, I guess, but it made this finish all the sweeter.

And the final verses were worth the journey.  In fact, they tie the entire journey together.  At first glance, unless you have traveled through the whole book, these verses might not mean too much…
” vs 30 So, I purified the priests and the Levites of everything foreign, and assigned them duties, each to his own task. vs31 I also made provision for contributions of wood at designated times and for the first fruits.
Remember me with favor, O my God.”

While it seems just another Old Testament ritual, this purification and assignment of duties means that at the end of the day, the end of Nehemiah’s story doesn’t get tied up with a pretty bow.  There is no definitive conclusion to his work recorded in this book.  In fact, these last couple of verses represent a cycle of years and years of Nehemiah helping the people establish boundaries that will rebuild their destroyed lives, the people repenting and accepting this new life by signing a covenant or agreement to do so, living that way for a while, becoming distracted/negligent/rebellious, falling back into old careless ways and Nehemiah coming back to reestablish boundaries and correct the ways of the leaders. Over. And over. And over.

And at the end of the day, when he must have had an urge to throw his hands in the air and walk away, comes his simple request “Remember me with favor, O my God.”

You have no idea how encouraging this idea is to me at the end of 2011.  I’m sure I’m starting to sound a bit like a broken record, but 2011 was a year we experienced the Lord really asking us to do something difficult.  He has probably asked us to countless times before, only this time we walked in it.  BUT what I haven’t mentioned much about is that the journey is STILL difficult.  Yes, it was hard to incorporate three additional small children into our home.  Difficult to experience the chaos of doing life with six preschoolers.  To adjust to being a party-of-eight.  But OH MY it was even harder to send them home wondering if a difference had been made.  The truth is we may always be involved with their family and while we believe in MIRACLES, we continue to see a cycle much like that which Nehemiah found himself in.  It seems that at each round of the cycle, new difficulties are uncovered and with such there comes a new temptation for us toward hopelessness.  In all honesty, we must admit that it is possible that we will never, in this life, see a “pretty bow” at the end of this story. 

We are in.  We are all in to this calling that we feel the Lord has set before us.  But that doesn’t mean there aren’t  days we would like to throw our hands up and say, “Lord, it’s useless.  I’m DONE”.  Many days.  Yet, we remain.

Remember me with favor, God.  Remember that I have accepted the calling you set before me.  Remember that I didn’t always understand what you were asking of me.  Remember that I didn’t understand WHY you were asking me to do it AGAIN.  Remember that I offered help, provided resources, offered love and STILL do not see the difference it has made in the story.  Remember me, O God.

Remember that I am human.  Remember that I’m trying.  Remember that sometimes I don’t want to try anymore.  Remember that I am learning.  I’m learning how to love truly unconditionally.  I’m learning how to offer help without expecting anything in return.  I’m learning to Trust.  I’m learning to Pray.  And learning to release.  Remember me, O God.  And please, remember me with favor. 

If you find yourself there, seemingly caught there.  Please remember this…We have seen that He does REMEMBER.  And will remember.  Time.  And Time.  Again.

And that was worth the journey.
ABL

Even though I’m finished journaling through the book of Nehemiah, I can’t wait to go back through those months and months of notes and start sharing more here.  I can’t wait to organize the themes, the lessons learned and see how they might apply in this new season for us.  What an amazing journey it is to study and breathe the Word, the living Word.

 152- The number of days

I’m glad we didn’t count…

the number of loads of laundry

the number of broken toys we repaired (or trashed)
the number of times we said “please don’t whine”

the number of meals we ate cold
the number of times we swept the kitchen floor

But we didn’t count any of those things.  While it might have made for a nice record, it really doesn’t matter.  Those numbers wouldn’t reflect our purpose.

I wish we had counted…

1400 sq feet starts to feel pretty small when all 8 of its occupants are sick.  The puzzles have all been worked, the stories have all been read, the sick kiddos are TOO TIRED of movies, and not TIRED ENOUGH for good naps.

Enter our sick-day-superhero!

I’ll post soon about my quick trip which fell smack-dab in the middle of “sick week” at our house.  DUDE, it was bad timing.  But we were supported and loved by many during this tough week.  There was one-instance-of-help, though, that I just had to post cute pictures of.  As I got back to town, a sweet friend had offered to help by going to the grocery store.  I gave her our list.  But she added a few “sick necessities” and totally saved the afternoon.

Not only were there sweet treats, refreshing drinks, and lots of encouragement…

SHE BROUGHT PRESENTS and stayed to entertain for a while (the very best gift for me)!  At one point during the fun, KJ declared he couldn’t wait to eat some of the sweet goodies so he was just “going to have to buckle-on his self-control”. 
Um, not sure where you got that one, bud…but sounds like a GREAT idea.

KJ loved his new spiderman puzzle. 
*she thoughtfully remembered he had a spiderman birthday cake

CB loved having her very OWN colored pencils, crayons and coloring book

and Lou enjoyed her play-dough

Baby B was quite content to splash, play, and make a big mess with some soapy water

I am so thankful I captured this one (of a hundred) ways that our community is so thoughtfully and generously supporting us.  Thanks, Ms K, for your sweet blessing on our sick-day.  And to all of you for continuing to walk this road with us!

SO BLESSED!
ABL