For an entire month I’ve been praying with some dear friends that we would have the eyes of Caleb and Joshua (Numbers 13-14). Eyes that don’t exaggerate the giants, but instead see and claim and shout out His amazing and abundant provision. One answer to that prayer is a call to spend a lot more energy documenting my family victories, our adventures, the abundant provision, the glorious ways God is building beautiful from crap. So that’s how I’m going to fight this sucker. Because I’m fed up. I’m over letting hard be in charge.
But first. Some business. I’m done with not calling out the real source of pain. And there is one opponent that needs to be addressed, who needs to be told….”Momma is here to fight.”
You cannot have us.
You don’t know my name. And I wish I’d never heard yours.
I have never seen you. But I know you.
You may only be a substance. But to me you have a face.
I don’t know where you came from. But I know about places you’ve traveled.
You weren’t invited. But you’ve been in my home.
I’ve never touched you. But you’ve woven your far-reaching fingers into my life.
I love one who has danced with you. But you don’t care that she is beautiful, passionate, and creative.
The ones trapped by you are beautiful. But you are disgusting.
I hate you. With every fiber of my being, I hate you. But I will make you some promises.
I promise I’ll never find TV shows or movies about you entertaining. And I promise I will never use you or the impact you have on people as punchlines of jokes.
I promise to fight against your impact on my family. And I promise that my weapons will be Truth. Love. Forgiveness.
I promise to keep pointing light to those you pound into darkness.
No matter how hard this gets, I promise to not give up. To not quit hoping. To be there when they walk away from you.
I promise to keep loving those you leave as orphans and widows and grieving parents.
I promise to keep believing in the source of the power that will defeat you. My God.
You break all your promises. But I will keep mine.
Let me make myself very clear. You may have taken moments of our lives, you may have destroyed holidays, you may have caused great pain, grief and confusion. You may have trapped people we love and made them do things that don’t make sense. But you cannot have us. You will not make us hate each other. You will not be allowed to make us bitter. You absolutely will not instill in us a spirit of fear.
Even when we struggle, stumble and falter, you will not be powerful enough to take our Joy. Our Love. Our Peace. Our Patience. Our Kindness. Our Goodness. Our Faithfulness. Our Gentleness. Or even our Self-Control. Because those are fruits. Fruits of the Holy Spirit, living in us, and they cannot be touched by you. Because you are the hands of satan. And he has already been defeated. I know the ONE who will redeem every ounce of what you’ve destroyed. He will take what you’ve left for ruin and make it beautiful. And Glorious. It has already begun. I am seeing it happen.
That is the part I will tell everyone who will listen. That is how I will fight you. You cannot have us.