Lots of random thoughts…get comfortable

2) I’ve taken to calling the baby, “C-bug” (insert his name where the ‘C’ is). I’m not exactly sure where it came from, but think it evolved from snuggle bug. It really stuck when KJ started calling him by that name and it is ever so sweet when big brother says “Its ok, C-bug, don’t cry, baby brother” or “watch this C-bug” or C’mon C-Bug, go to K’s room” (as if any day now his baby brother will get up and run with him) or “mommy, where’s C-bug go” (KJ always says “where’s insert name go?” sort of combining the two questions).

3) I was starting to feel like we were really over the hurdle with our little (or big) C-bug but the last week or so has been a little rough. He is still sleeping great at night but will have major meltdowns at least once a day where nothing will console him. He arches his back to the point that you cannot even hold him. These usually happen in public. I know I shouldn’t be, but I can not help but be terribly embarrassed and feel like everyone is staring. Recently we were in Target and having a major scream-a-thon. I finished as quickly as I could and left. As soon as we left, he was fine so we went to another store in the same area. I was oh-so-pleasantly greeted in the second store by someone who recognized us from Target and just HAD to say “Oh, look, its the screaming baby from Target”. Thank you very much.

4) On that note, Saturday at church a very nice man asked me how old my baby was. I told him 4-months and he responded “wow” (in a moment of vanity, I thought he was going to say “Wow, you look great for having a 4-month-old) but instead he completed “wow, you look REALLY tired. Have you been up all night?” Thank you, Lord, for that little dose of humility.

5) Speaking of Church, have you read, Screwtape Letters? I’m getting it out to read again because I feel some of the tactics of ugly Wormwood and Screwtape might be at work in my life right now. To be more specific, I am starting to wonder if these little demons wait for me at the door to church trying to ensure that I have a miserable experience each time I show up to worship. More specifically, I feel like every-time we walk through the doors one or the other of my children so drastically consumes my attention or frustrates me that I forget altogether while I am there. I say this slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I do believe in the spiritual battle that goes on for each of our souls and I do believe the devil knows I crave the fueling I get by worshiping my Lord with my husband and by being in our small group bible study (neither of which have happened a single time in entirety since C-bug was born). I’m not really looking for advice here since I think it is somewhat of a personal battle, but I would appreciate your prayers.

6) While I’m on a C.S. Lewis kick, (one of my favorite authors by the way) I thank God everyday for a good friend who recently celebrated her birthday! This quote from C.S. Lewis very clearly defines how we became (and remain) friends. Happy Birthday, Tara.

We’ve had so many of those moments over the last couple of years as our oldest boys are 3 weeks apart and amazingly, our youngest boys were also born 3 weeks apart. Really, I might go insane without her encouragement and reminders that in some twisted way, what I’m going through is normal. Here is a picture of our oldest boys. They sure love each other.

Amazingly, I think that is about all for now. I guess if I posted more regularly I would not have to go on these marathon sessions.