Being in the top 0.1% is a Rough Gig

It has been officially confirmed.  My children are in the top 0.1%.
But being tops is not always all it is cracked up to be.

Don’t get me wrong.  I already knew I have some pretty AH-mazing kiddos. I mean seriously stellar. KJ’s reading level, in first grade, astounds me. He can read a story and really bring it to life. Cbug can do math in his head so quickly it makes my own head spin, counting by crazy numbers like 8 and doing simple division (he just started K). Lou’s nurturing instincts are off the charts, she can read people in a way that is wise beyond her years. And the way Tito says “thank you” is enough to make me wanna buy him a pony (nearly).

 When you get me started talking about my kids its pretty tough not to brag.  But all of this is purely based on my own 100% biased, cuz I’m their Momma, opinion. And I’m totally cool with that. I think my kids are the best, smartest, funniest, cutest, sweetest in the world. Because they are mine.

This week that all changed.  It is now absolutely official.  I have real scientific proof that my four children are in a category above nearly all other humans on the planet (or at least those tested by certain manufacturers of cleaning products). To be honest, I wish I didn’t have this proof at all- because it turns out, my 4 kiddos have germs that are more persistent than approximately 99.9% of all other germs. I know because I’ve used this.

and this.

and this.

not to mention a homemade solution.

All trying to kill the germs in our house that have resulted in nearly 3 weeks of stomach bug/flu. All 4 kids have had it. It comes and goes. But mostly comes. In three weeks, I think we’ve slept through the night twice without waking up to puke…or um, the other.

We are exhausted. Running low on patience. And I’ve cried plenty a “I must be a terrible mom” fit into my pillow. But that isn’t going to be where I stay in all of this. This stinkin’ bug remains, but it doesn’t get the victory at our house. If it lasts another day or another month (PLEASE LORD JESUS NOT ANOTHER MONTH)- it doesn’t win. satan (with a little ‘s’ even at the beginning of a sentence) would like nothing more than to use this trying time in parenting to rob me of my confidence, joy and purpose which is from The LORD. I’m convinced that sneaky rascal would like nothing more than to let this be about more than just a stomach bug.  he’d love to see a real battle.

As I kneel beside my children while they hug porcelain AGAIN. Or worse, as I kneel on all fours to clean up where they “missed”. that conniving devil meets me there. he’s whispering in my ear those age old lies to moms about being inadequate, not trying hard enough, failing, not employing every possible tool, comparing to other moms, etc. And today I’m choosing to remind myself…
I’M NOT LISTENING.
ABSOLUTELY.NOT.GIVING.IN.

Because I believe in a God who is bigger.  One who may love to surprise me, but is never sneaky or deceiving. One that doesn’t have to meet me in the bathroom. He doesn’t meet me there because He is consistent.  Walking with me all along. He is the one already with me as I’ve laid hands on my children each night, as I’ve begged Him to cleanse our home, as I’ve cried out in my sleep (or lack thereof), as I’ve spoken scripture over them, as I’ve longed for understanding and direction. And He’s the one who is with me when I don’t feel like doing any of it.

I feel quite certain that many of you have some genius ideas about how to fix this ole nasty stomach bug for us- and I’ll assure you… I’ve tried (or at least googled) 99.9% of them. But even if I haven’t. I’m gonna ask you to refrain from any “tips” on fixing this. Be mindful of my fragile Momma state and instead, today, will you simply join me in the REVOLT.  Join me in choosing hope in parenting, even over silly things like the stomach bug.

Join me in choosing laughter in these down and dirty Momma moments.  The ones you know will pass quickly (gross pun intended), but you still gotta work hard to find a bright side. Today, my silver lining is this:
If it could be cleaned, washed, thrown away, scrubbed, sprayed, or bathed…it has been.
More times than I can count.
Yet, those stinkin’ germs persist.
So at least we’ve got this going for us:
My kids (or at least their germs) are top notch-
in the top 0.1% of the whole wide world.
And now I have proof.

Hooray for us.

ABL

ps- stomach bug, you are now free to leave. officially.

Updated: January 15, 2014 — 4:21 am

2 Comments

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  1. You over-achievers, you! Quite an accomplishment being in that high of a percentile!

  2. AWWWW. Love you and your 4. This could be somewhat the thoughts they have —
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JYw4_l4xWZQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DJYw4_l4xWZQ

    Because you are so amazing too.

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